An Open Letter

What’s that?

Today is one of those days.

You don’t feel like scanning your own expense receipts?

All 852 of them?

For stupid things like Dunkin’  Donuts Coffee and $2 bridge toll?

Well please, hover over my desk and stare while I’m taking a phone call, then demand that “We” get this done by the end of the day so “We” can get our money quickly. At 4pm.

Of course, that means that “I” will be stuck at the copier for half an hour and “you” will whine about the low resolution of the scans and ask that “we” redo them, which yields exactly the same results and wastes approximately twice my time.

It means that “I” will be 10 minutes late for a one hour, $17 class as “you” breeze out the door for an early dinner.

Reality check: I’m an assistant to 25 people plus office manager plus receptionist plus account coordinator.

I can either write emails for you and manage your calendar and screen your calls and order gift baskets for your clients and keep your favorite soda in the fridge and set up the conference table for your meetings and entertain your visitors and keep a pot of coffee on and clean the stain you probably made and left out of the carpet–or I can spend my time running back and forth between the copy machine and our local Fed Ex for tasks that YOU PERSONALLY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR and that YOU SOLEY BENEFIT FROM.

Yes, the owner of the company can get away with asking me to get him a Diet Coke and scan a copy of his driver’s license. You cannot.

So please, for the health and wealth of our company: get off your ass and photocopy your own receipts.

And put your own letter in the mailbox while you’re at it. We all walk past the box every day. There’s no reason why I have to be responsible for your mother’s birthday card.

Sincerely,

Amelia the Irate Admin.